Every once in a while I start to feel like I "just stay home". I even begin to think that I'm not being a very good Christian because I feel like I just don't touch many people's lives. I have a deep desire to see people's lives transformed by Christ, or to be investing in someone's life that may not trust Christ now, but will one day see their need for the Saviour and just maybe I could be used of God in that capacity. Sometimes I just wish I was "out and about" more so I would "run into" more people on a daily basis and I could share the good news, or form a relationship with someone, or mentor another lady in the Lord.
None of these desires are bad, and they should be the desire of every Christian's heart. But I'm forgetting sometimes. Forgetting that, during this season of life, I have five precious arrows at home that I'm pointing to Christ. Five souls that need to be taught God's word and need a mature faith lived out in front of them every single day. Five hearts that I compete against Satan for on a daily basis. Five lives, that by God's grace, I must touch with His Truth and His gospel.
My children are five distinctly different individuals, with different personalities, different minds, different fears, goals, strengths, weaknesses, desires, likes, dislikes, and so on. They each need my love, direction, patience, guidance, correction, example, and more. I'm truly needed in so many areas of these few lives. I should not be desiring to be "out and about" everyday with the hopes of running into more people. God has given me people to minister to every day at home. God has given me five children who at one point did not know the Lord as their personal Saviour. He has given me five children who I can build relationships with, who I can invest in and minister to, and who I can mentor for years and years to come.
So, I can get into the rut of thinking, "I just stay home". Sometimes I even think, "but they're just my kids". I'm amazed over the past year what God has taught me through "just my kids". When they were all very young it was so much easier to point them to Jesus. We do all the fun things like sing, "Jesus Loves Me" before bed, or we have memory verse cards hung throughout the house, or we praise God through the alphabet on car rides, we make church and worship together a very real and important part of our lives.... but now that my children are getting older I'm amazed at how much time and effort it takes to truly invest in each one spiritually. Not just care for the outer man.... but the inner man, of each child. They are truly so different. Each of my saved children have dealt with things just this year that have forced me to have a closer walk with God. It has brought me to prayer so, so much more than years past. I'm so thankful that they have a desire to grow in the Lord, be obedient to God's word, and have a close walk with their Saviour. I wish I could say that the older they get and the more years you have under your belt, the easier it gets...... but I can't. Sorry. It gets harder and harder. They need more and more of your time, patience, love, forgiveness, humility, gentleness, sincerity, genuiness..... the list goes on.
But I have good news! It's not a bad thing to pray more, open your Bible more, seek God more, ask for His help more, and depend more on Him. And the more you come to trust Him, the more peace He gives concerning your children. And there's a reward. An eternal reward. Someday, it will be time to pull back and release those arrows into the world.... and if you've been steady and consistent at aiming them at the right target, when you let go, they'll hit the mark. But it takes balance, patience, steadiness, diligence, and FOCUS. It takes long days sometimes. It takes nights of prayer. It takes tears sometimes and it most definitely takes time. But it's not in vain. These are the people God has called you to love and minister to right now.
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